Being Bullied- My story

There are those memories that disappear,

Some which you take which you will forever have,

The pain you once endured will forever remain your heart,

And sometimes you just have to embrace it and accept that it happened,

If you ever want to move on

Poem by Me

Song Choices: The Girl who cried Wolf by 5 Seconds of Summer

                         Invisible by 5 seconds of summer

(Cue The Girl Who Cried Wolf skip the first chorus). In grade 5, I got chicken pox and missed school for nearly a month to recover. Unfortunately when I got back in late October well my classmates didn’t even want to be next to me, and encouraged other students to do the same. Basically, I lost all my friends. (Break until second verse starts). Then we went on a field trip, worst decision ever, I was alone as usual. Anyway dinner time came, everyone picked a seat, I chose an empty seat with the girls, they all moved, literally moved to another table. The teachers saw the whole thing and offered to sit with me, to which I accepted, but I lost my appetite. (Break until Michael starts singing). I asked to be excused and went to my room. They refused to sleep in the same room as me, and cried myself to sleep for 2 days straight. I didn’t tell anyone in fear of being made fun off. For the first time in my life, I was miserable, felt bad about myself, had low self-esteem, and the worst part was that no one was there for me. I was completely alone. Anyways the trip ended and we went back to school, and things got even worse. (End of The Girl Who Cried Wolf).

Following the next year, I was in grade six and still had no friends or anyone to trust.

The bully loved to torture me, she would put kick me signs on my back, people would literally kick me. One day in English, my classmates were laughing, not knowing why I laughed along until when the teacher asked why, they said the girl put a kick me sign on my back, I stopped laughing and asked to be excused, I ran to the bathroom before anyone could see the tears threatening to spill. In the bathroom, I cried and cried until my face was red and I had a terrible massive headache, then returned to class. When the bell rang and it was time to go home, the teacher asked me to stay behind. Once everyone went out, the teacher sat next to me and asked if I was ok. I lied, and said everything was fine. He let me go, I thanked him and headed out. As I approached the door, he said that if anything bothered me, I could always talk to him, I thanked him with a forced smile and said goodbye.

On the way to the gate, the bully called me and demanded to know what the teacher wanted. I told her the truth, because I was afraid if I didn’t, things would get worse. She simply rolled her eyes in disbelief and slapped me. It stung and I had to fight the tears threatening to spill. Anyways I headed to the gate, and my nanny was waiting for me. She saw everything but still asked me to explain what happened. At first I lied and said nothing happened, then I became hesitant, but she kept insisting so finally I give in and told her everything. She gave me a hug, and said she was sorry. When we got home, she made chips, and sausages along with my favorite drink Spar letter and some chocolate. I thanked her, and when I was done with my food, it came out of my body along with the tears.

(Cue Invisible). I became depressed after that day, and the terrible bully routine continued. I would go home every day terrified and depressed. I also became Anorexic, this greatly worried my mum. At times, I wouldn’t speak, I wouldn’t do my homework because the bully said I,  I was stupid and dumb, and I got bad grades as well .(break).  I would go to the pyscharaist but still wouldn’t speak. I had low self-esteem. I hated myself and life, I stopped functioning properly, I lost the will to continue living, constantly threatened suicide, almost attempted once. I was plagued by nightmares. I didn’t even know who I was anymore. No friends, nothing (Break). I always asked my mum who I was, she would try cheering me up by saying, your my beautiful little girl blab la blab. Didn’t work, I wondered how I could possibly know who I was, if I didn’t even know myself.

Months passed and I got worse and worse. I became the depressed, anorexic, chicken pox girl to everyone. I didn’t just become invisible, I became dead to the World. (End of Invisible).